Yesterday, I woke up at 6.43. I got up, cleaned my teeth, sorted my hair out, washed my face, used some deoderant and left the house. Someone has written "cock spray" in big permanent marker letters on the deodorant, but i still have to use it as it's the only one there. I wasn't fooled into using it for anything other than its original purpose though. Sometimes, I do nearly brush my teeth with shaving foam.
I left the house and it was very cold.I dodged past the german christmas market, which smelled of yesterdays grease and made me a bit sick, and walked to the bus stop.
Recently, we have lots of different people giving out the metro. The last one was great. I came to think of him as my guardian angel - he always said hello and wished me a nice day. If a tram was on it's way down the road, he'd warn me. Likewise if the weather was going to take a turn for the worse, he would let me know. Then one day, he wasn't there. Maybe he thought that he had taught me all he could and moved on. Maybe there's someone somewhere that needs him more. Maybe he just decided it was a terrible job having to get up early and stand on the freezing streets of nottingham at half 6 giving papers out to mardy tired people every day. Who knows. The new guy is very non descript. He just gave me a metro. That's it.
The bus driver was the one that barks at everyone. When you get on the bus, he goes "ahhhh" and when you give him the money, he goes "taaaa". He gets louder and higher as the syllable goes on. I used to hate it, but now I'm buzzing. If I'm at the back of a queue of people getting on, as I was today, I always have the giggles by the time I have to interact with him. I have never heard him communicate in a different way in all the time he's been driving the bus.
School was average. I only had three lessons and with it being close to the end of term, I did nothing constructive in my free periods. At one point, one of my tutees threw a skip at me (a crisp, not a large bin. she's only small). I ordered her to pick it up. It took some persuasion, but she did. Then, ten minutes later, I find said skip with a smiley face drawn on sitting on my desk. In other words, I found an act of war.
I gave the skip to the girl's best friend and made her pass it on when she next saw her. Then the skip turned up on my desk again. I gave it to our student service help desk, who sent a message to the girl in class that said she had to come down there at once. This normally means theyre in trouble. When she got down, she was handed a skip. Twenty minutes later, the skip was in my tray next to student services. So I went into the school computer system, found out the girls home address and mailed the skip (now in three pieces) to her.
I hope I don't get it back, because I have run out of amazing and clever things to do with it.
I also had a microsoft paint drawing contest with one of my 6th formers. Last week, I won. The title was "egg cup". Once loads of teachers had marked them, mine scored an average of 9. Hers got 3.5. This week, in "parrot", I got 9, she got 8.9. Turns out she cheated too and downloaded something of the internet. In conclusion, I am awesome.
In no particular order, I did these things too: swore at my year 11s, ate some chips, put some data in the computer, taught a class how to write their name in Japanese and drank a strawberry milkshake.
After school, I went to Sheffield to watch Slipknot. Support bands were Children of Bodom and Machine Head. Largely, I hate metal music and had no interest in these, so we went up fairly late. Poor old Withers, who is metal to the very core, had to go up by himself in order to watch all the bands. When we met him in the arena, we were greeted with metal horns and massive two pint drink (called a gint, with a soft g), held aloft.
This is the thing about metallers. There is no irony. The metal horns are a legitimate form of communication. Greasy long hair is not unnatractive and dirty. Stupid beards are a status symbol and black, baggy clothes are in fashion. Metallers are also incapable of change (hence why there are so many middle aged people who still act and dress like that) and they are also unable to accept other forms of music.
I was the least metal person there. My floppy fringe, coloured, fitting clothes and big black glasses could have got me eaten, but people were all there for just two things: to take their tops off whilst beating each other up and to cheer every time they heard the word fuck. Thus, I went largely unnoticed. With Rowan being on crutches, him and I exchanged our standing tickets for seated ones and sat down to watch the spectacle. It was a good show and I enjoyed it, though was disappointed not to have heard more singles. I think having that opinion is also frowned upon by metallers. They pretend they like the obscure album thrash tunes, not the ones with melodies that everyboy's heard of, but I'm on to them.
As we left, most people were still half naked and sweating, walking in circles and undefined lines around things whilst grunting and clenching their fists. Every now and then, one would shout 'Slipknot!' or thrust their middle finger at something (sometimes an authorative object, such as an instructional sign or a parking attendant, sometimes just randonmly). That's another thing, metallers hate authority. You just cannot tell them what to do.
On the way home, Pete was drunk. He mumbled something about "pissing in your shit face" to Joe before lighting a cigarette and smoking it out the window whilst we all coughed. We got home at about midnight at which point i played left 4 dead for half an hour before going to sleep.
My favourite slipknot is cock nose.