SUTLS

Today, I woke up and did some ironing. I hate this for three reasons. Firstly, I'm not very tall though it never usually bothers me and I never think about it ever. Until I do the ironing. When I lay my trouser leg out flat in front of me, it shocks me how little of the ironing board it takes up.

Another reason is that I feel like a sell out. I can sense me, aged 10 years old, standing in the corner wearing a he-man t-shirt looking at me now with the same look I use when I see somebody buying a Keane album. Despite the fact I have been ironing things for quite a while now, it's like buying socks and kitchen utensils: I have no business doing it. It still feels like my Mum's job. Ironing makes me want to go out and by a sticker album.

After I finished and ate a kinder egg for breakfast (the toy was a car, which is only slightly less disappointing than a jigsaw puzzle) I decided to try and watch an episode of 'Everybody Loves Hypnotoad' which is an extra on a Futurama DVD I got. I wanted to see if it actually had any effect on me.

I concentrated hard on the sounds for 5 minutes and stared directly into his eyes, but I just got hungry. It's still on in the background as I write this. Because today has not been on for long, not too much has happened. So, I will write a bit about this week. There are very few continous storylines on this page, but I always feel the need to update people on what happens with rewards assemblies for year 9 form groups and that took place a few days ago...

Suffice to say, it was another storming win. It turned out tht I didn't reaally cheat with anything in the end - my rallying speeches would have made nazi germany quake though and this has made my competitve edge rub off on the kids in my group.

Out of the 5 celebration slips drawn from the box that contains every slip won by every child in the year over last term, we claimed 3 of them. Each name was met with a boo from the rest of the year 9s and their form tutors. When the overall winners were read out for having the most reward points, there was more booing as I stood nodding with my arms spread out. Everyone has accused me of cheating since, including my own form group. My growing status as pantomime villain has just made victory all the sweeter.

I had a big argument with one of the tutors recently. Without going into detail, it stems from her being a complete dick. This is not just me saying this, but she was COMPLETELY in the wrong which everyone agrees with. However, the powers that be backed her in the argument and later apologised, saying it's only because she scares them whereas they know with me, a later apology would be enough for me to shrug it off and say it doesnt really bother me. I just shrugged it off because life's too short and it didnt really bother me.

Her form was the previous champions and she can't take the fact i beat her. She is jealous and bitter and I delight in winding her up because she can not take a joke. I waited til she was in ear shot before asking the head of year if, "seeing as we're the best form for two terms running, we could have an afternoon trip to the cinema". I'm pretty sure he hates her as well so said yes enthusiastically. She butted in with "yeah, well, we're the most improved, we deserve sometheing". She got a non uniform day for her useless rabble. I didn't need to say anything or even make eye contact. This was victory unlike any other and she knew it. This raises the stakes high for the next assembly before Summer as it is now all out war.

The new Mario Kart is out so we all played that in the evening. Joe Rowan and Lloyd have deicided to be vegetarians. Lloyd is honest and says its rubbish, but won't lose his challenge against Joe. The first one to eat meat before a year is up has to pay the other one ten pounds. They have been doing it for a week and a half. Joe and Rowan sit there going on about how great vegetables are and how they don't miss meat at all. That is definately a lie - I saw the longing in their eyes when I got the hot dogs out.

We then went to watch [Rec] at LNCC (late night cinema club - not an official term). It's very good and very all glory to The Hypnotoad, all glory to The Hypnotoad, all glory to The Hypnotoad, all glory to The Hypnotoad, all glory to The Hypnotoad...