SUTLS

Today I woke up at 6.45. I nearly cried and my eyes felt like rusty metal. It was horrible. On a school night, I had dared to stay up until past one o'clock to go out and watch some bands and now I was paying the consequences. I washed, cleaned my teeth and got dressed before heading out of the house. I don't drink, but I do sleep and when I have to go to work, I don't like not having enough of it.

I craved Mars drinks, but I have very strict rules with these. They vary in price so much that I don't like to pay more then 85p. It's not because I can't afford it - teaching just about pays enough for such extravagance - but it's more because I don't like the thought of The Man getting one up on me. I picture some fat owner of a greasy corporate newsagents like MSR going to McDonalds and buying a large meal instead of just a normal one, then laughing at the memory of me buying their expensive Mars drink as they pass over the money. I do actually like capitalism, but only because I like to think I'm smart enough to not get caught out by it.

Today, the 'refuel' tag on the side of the bottle sold me on the idea of paying 99p. Thus I had a Mars drink for breakfast and it was worth every inflated penny. The man could enjoy his fries, for he had earned them. I got on the number 4 and went to school.

I zombied my way through the day. Some students at school had found out I had played on a festival bill the other day with bands like McFly, Madness and the Sugababes. Nobody realises it was not as high profile as it sounds, but it doesn't matter. At least to the younger school kids, I can do no wrong. As a result, I just got admiring comments and starstruck glances all morning. Nobody wanted to misbehave for their famous teacher.

After a few days armistice, I decided it was time to go on the offensive with my comedy nemeisis at school. He used to play in a band about ten years ago. He will not tell me who, but claims them to have been semi famous and I may have heard of them. After he convinced the whole of year 8 that my first name is Ruprecht, I decided to tell them which band he used to be in: The Rednex, or to the students "that band that sang cotton eyed joe". It worked a treat and I felt particularly proud of myself for that one.

Later on, I got a phone call during my year 10 class. I had forgotten to put it on silent and I am vicious with that class about messing with their phones during lesson. I said if it rang again, they could answer it. Not actually wanting this to happen, I started putting it on silent but it rang as I was pressing the buttons. I sighed and passed it to a semi sensible girl in front of me. She answered it normally, then panicked and threw it back to the class clown.

A hush descended on the room as the boy started speaking in a dodgy australian accent. He seemed to be inviting the caller for a drink but nobody could quite be sure. Every idiotic response was met with howls of laughter. Eventually I got the phone back off him and wound the conversation up - Joe was calling from Download festival informing me that touts were getting rid of tickets dirt cheap. It took the class a minute to settle down, at which point the headmaster walked in. The class looked at him, looked at me, then all sat staring at their desks trying not to giggle. If he had literally walked in one minute earlier, the situation would have looked bad. The Head threw a football back to the clown as he had confiscated it at lunch time. He disappeared and the laughter began again.

"How glad are you he didn't walk in a minute earlier sir?" The answer was very.

After school, I went home, got changed then left for Donnington to buy an illegal ticket. The transaction was swift when I got there - I bought a weekend one for £72. Face value £170. I was slightly worried with the celebrations and laughter that greeted the handing over of the money, but the ticket was valid and I got in fine just in time to see yourcodenameis:milo, who are a band I really enjoy. They were good and have the greatest set closer of all time.

But there was only one real reason I was there though: Korn in the tent. I can't remember exactly, but I think Korn are one of those bands I started liking as an ironic joke. But now I love them, or at least their older stuff and newer singles.

It was an effort to get into the crowd. There were far too many people there to watch a big, big band in a relatively small place. However, they were amazing. The crowd was full of really hard looking people who had taken their tops off but we held our own, dancing, jumping, headbanging and circle pitting like it was 1999. During the kick in on Freak on a Leash, time stood still as I was suspended thirty foot in the air. In my mind, I landed and the whole site fell over, but I think in reality I just got panned by someone significantly bigger than me. Either way, it felt good. A number of year's ago, I got caught in a really strong wave and for a minute or so and couldn't escape it as it battered me around the beach rocks. A similar thing happened to me during 'Blind'.

Right now, I can't move my neck.

The band finished and everyone sloped away from the tent to the main arena where My Chemical Romance were scheduled to be finishing. It was an apocalyptic site - thousands of sweaty Korn fans as far as the eye could see dragging themselves over the dusty hill and causing it to spiral into the air like some full on Vietnam shit. The fact that everybody was so battered and tired to walk properly, coupled with the low drone of all the nu-metallers booing MCR made me feel like I was in the middle of a zombie attack. The "emo sucks" chant stopped as we rounded towards the main stage and noticed that MCR had already finished. Despite the fact I wouldn't have minded catching a few songs of theirs, this was for the best. Those kids wouldn't have stood a chance.

MCR are definately a band I hated, then liked for a joke and now secretly quite like. But only for some of their songs. Their general stance as The Man's choice to represent the drones who think their parents hate them for not letting them do wildly stupid and inappropriate things appalls me. They are emo barbie dolls - pull the draw chord to hear them say "fuck you to anybody who tells you what to do". The Black Parade is an amazing tune.

The bus back decided it didnt want to pick us up so were forced to walk to the airport and had to wait for well over an hour for another with the most unsufferable and tiresome person I've ever met. Unfortunately, we already knew him and as soon as he turned up at the bus stop, the sigh from Joe and myself was audible. The wait combined with the bus ride meant we had to endure the phrases "jap's eye", "bumhole" and "motherfucker" strung together in every imaginable combination for nearly two hours. As soon as we got off the bus, we ran to get a kebab.