Today I woke up at 7.15am. I got out of bed, washed, cleaned my teeth, put on my sunglasses and non-uniform and danced out of the flat. It was already warming up outside. Today was the last day of the summer term and the last day of my first year of teaching. I got on the number 4 bus, listened to some beach boys on my ipod, got off the number four bus and skipped up to school in the sunshine.
In form time, I dished out some chocolates, gave out cards and Celebrations to the kids that were leaving (sadly, all really nice kids) and kicked them out of the door. We only had a half day today and this was a sprint to get to lunch time.
First lesson was watching Dumb and Dumber with what has been my favourite class. They're in year 8 and are being mixed up into sets in year 9. I managed to beg management into letting me have the class with most of them in next year, though thats the only decent class I do have. My timetable for september is horrifying. I have used this lot for all my important observations over the past twelve months. Despite the fact they're not perfect kids, I get on with them very well. Last week the head came in to observe me. Some of the pupils have put me on a star initiative - if I behave in class I get a star. When I get 8, I get a prize. I didn't get a star in that lesson because "I was too fake." I told them I had to be because my boss was watching, but they told me unless I took my shoes off and had odd socks on, then I wasn't being myself enough to be rewarded. I missed out on the prize by half a star. I got the half for arriving to one lesson slightly late, but partially made amends by swearing more than normal.
For the observation lesson, I got a 2/1 (between excellent and good). Being that our head is notoriously picky, this was a real result. There were one or two minor improvements to be made before that lesson was a full on 1. My favourite criticism was of my opinion line. I wanted the kids to stand in the section of the room which reflected how much they agreed or disagreed that dams were the best flood protection method. I had not done human opinion lines with them before so thought it would be wise to test the water first. We have a girl in the class who is actually very bright under the surface, but just comes across as being a dizzy idiot. She got invited on a "gifted and talented" trip once and has been using this as leverage ever since. Likewise, I frequently use it as ammunition against her. My first statement was "Jess is gifted and talented". We had 24 students pushing their way to the strongly disagree wall and 1 at the exact other side of the class standing there in disgust. The head teacher meanwhile just shook her head and scribbled on a piece of paper. To someone whose background is in special needs and inclusion, this is not banter, it's bullying.
In period 2, I had a so-so year 7 class. I couldn't even be bothered even to put a DVD on so I took them outside to sunbathe. My instructions were for them to stay where I could see them and to not do anything stupid. It was the best they've behaved all year. They tried to get me to join in playing truth or dare with them. I said no. They said why? I said, "OK, dare. Put your head down and run as fast as you can into that bin there." The fool did it. "That's why," I said. They weren't put off though and while I sat in the shade watching that nobody did anything that would land me in trouble for being irresponsible, they tried to include me in every dare. I got asked out several times. If I'd have said no the first time, it may have prevented all the subsequent propositions. I thought I was being funny, but in reality, there are laws against this sort of thing. They also tried to get me to play spin the bottle. I declined and they put the bottle away.
For the remainder of the hour, most of the kids stood squashing their face through the metal fence and shouting "Candy Man" into the woods. He didn't turn up - he only ever contacts us by the phone in the back of my classroom and he's not as scary as you'd think. He is normally just trying to find Mr Murphy. Maybe so he can kill him, maybe not. I guess I'll never know because I never pass him on.
I did my break time duty of patrolling the tennis courts. I normally do this by sitting on a bench. I then 'taught' my final lesson. Watching futurama. We did end with a quiz in order to see who kept the RS championship belt for the summer holidays. It changed hands and now the girl who has been vying for it all year has become our first female champ. I booted them out five minutes early so they could be first in the lunch queue. I like this class so it was disguised as a reward for a year's hard work. In actual fact, I just wanted to be done for the day.
During lunch, I was hungry and had no money or food, thus I hung around the library waiting for any members of my form to wander through. Sure enough they did, and I managed to reclaim some of the Celebrations I had handed out earlier. Just then, the other newly qualified teacher in the humanities department swaggered past. I subtly gave her a high 5, was caught by a number of kids we both teach and the wedding is now back on.
Once we'd got rid of the the children, we had to sit though an afternoon of leaving speeches. It was boring and like an idiot, I'd sat at the front to be near the free food. As a result, falling asleep would have been noticeable and extremely insulting so I battled on. There was interesting politics going on in the room because the head teacher is leaving and so are several people she made redundant in her final act of alienating herself. Carlo gave his speech and it was short and sincere. He had not been forced out, but he did despise the head. He went gracefully. The union rep who had been forced out, could not quite match this. "I have lots to say," she said "but have been told never to burn bridges. Goodbye." The head clapped politely whilst sucking on a lemon. One amazing teacher who is high up in the school and has been there for over 30 years, had also been made redundant. This is a disgrace. He went quietly and with dignity and people gave him respect for this.
Two hours later, we managed to escape. I got a lift half the way, then walked the rest. I was grinning like a maniac the whole time. This job is stressful and has been such hard work, but I now have a 6 week holiday after being told how amazing I am at my end of year review. So, for the next month and a half, I'm so glad I managed to go into teaching.
Tom, you're a legend. Congrats on your successful observation, and well done for not dying this year. I hope my NQT year ends up on a high, like yours.
This is very gushy, so here's a rude word: spaff